What’s the First Rule of Red Pill?

Alternate Title: Ten Years of No Paternity Tests

This Reddit thread came across my desk yesterday and I can’t let it go.

Did I (32m) ruin my marriage by requesting a dna test?

My (32m) wife (31m) gave birth to our new born baby three months ago and I thought things were fine, however my wife did not. Two months in my wife approached me saying that she was exhausted from taking care of the baby alone and she asked me why I wasn’t helping. I told her that I told her that I thought I was helping but she pointed out that I never get up at night, I never get the baby while it’s crying, never change the baby, or do anything.

After some talking I admitted that I was apprehensive about helping and she asked why. I thought it was going to cause a fight so I tried to change the subject. She told me that I should just tell her because if I didn’t she was going to her parents house for help until the she went back to work. I didn’t want that so I told her that I wanted a dna test. She said she wish I would have told her this when she found out she was pregnant. I didn’t understand that but she agreed to it. She didn’t see mad or upset she just said that I could set it up and we’d get it done because she didn’t make the baby alone so she shouldn’t have to care for it alone. We did the test and when we got the results back I told her and showed them to her. She didn’t say anything about it she just asked if I felt safe enough to help now. I said yes.

Soon after that I noticed her behavior started to change with me and my family. Everything changed and she started staying in different parts of the house. Parts I wasn’t in at the time. I finally asked her about it recently and she said that she lost all respect for me. She said she spent 10 years of her life with me faithfully just for me to slap her in the face with a dna test request. I explained that I didn’t think she had been unfaithful but I just needed to be sure. She said she’s trying to work through it but everything I say sounds moronic to her and we should just leave it where it is. I thought if I showed her videos and had her listen to podcasts about dna test she’d understand but after the last one she said she was going to stay with her parents.

I don’t know what’s happening or how to fix it. She wasn’t even mad when I asked for it. I feel like she isn’t hearing what I’m saying. It isn’t that serious and if she could just understand my perspective I think she’ll adjust hers. She’s not even against dna test so I’m unsure as to what her issue is. I don’t know.

11herb

My wife said the request for a paternity test was too much to forgive. I don’t believe that. What doomed this marriage was trying to convince her why the test was needed. He broke the first rule of red pill.

Rule #1: don’t talk about red pill!

One thing that is insurmountable in a troubled marriage is contempt. And women are different than men, more complicated. Where men’s desire can be boiled down to machinery and enthusiasm, women require some kind of intellectual alchemy for attraction to occur. You could be the kind of man with a potential career in porn. If she thinks you’re an idiot, it’s over. Maybe she’d give you one last round, but long-term outlook is going to zero.

Red pill is like professional wrestling and gangsta rap. It’s a guilty pleasure. But don’t base your life on it and definitely don’t talk about it to others, or people will think you’re an idiot.

Red pill ideology is like professional wrestling. Sure, people know it exists. They can maybe name a few wrestlers. But you don’t want to explain to them your theory of how Mankind’s career was held back by management or Triple H was overrated. You don’t talk about your favorites to win upcoming matches.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I listened to gangsta rap into my 30s (the last decade only during PT). Imagine if I translated those lyrics for my wife. This is about shooting people, this is selling crack, this is how you have sex with women and deny the child is yours. Imagine if I translated that not in jest, but in earnest and reverence.

Sometimes you want to convince people you’re an idiot. Usually when you’re in trouble. Once upon a time I was threatened with litigation. I played the rube from Missouri in an attempt to convince them there’s no blood in the rock. It didn’t work.

This poor schmuck on Reddit succeeded where I failed. He convinced his wife that he is an idiot. How? He played his red pill podcasts.

She must have known he was a little stupid. He probably doesn’t make much money or didn’t do well in school, whatever. We can guess his post was pecked out on a phone. But by showcasing for her his preferred guru — not in jest but in all seriousness, in fact serious enough that he acted on it — she saw that he’s stupider than she previously believed.

Women are hardwired to be attracted to men with resources. And in 2024, being stupid is a significant obstacle to amassing resources. She saw he’ll never amass considerable resources, and she’s better off getting back out there.

Maybe her logic didn’t go that far. Maybe her hardwiring senses the stupid and can’t stand his presence anymore. Maybe the well has run dry.

But it wasn’t asking for the paternity test. It was the red pill podcast.

Disclaimers

This Reddit post may have been fake, a troll drumming up interaction. But it was believable enough to generate debate and, even if it isn’t true, it doesn’t change my point: FIRST RULE OF RED PILL.

I used to be associated with the Red Pill community. I never preached the gospel or took it too seriously because I always knew I wanted a family. I was an ally at arm’s length for almost two years, from when I first read The Game in 2010 to when I got married in 2012. My outlook completely changed when my son was born in 2013. After children, a man’s life is forfeit to providing them with their daily bread.

I recommend The Game above anything else to understand the genesis of it all. I don’t believe Sperm Wars has held up among professionals of evolutionary psychology, but it was considered scripture in the “Manosphere.” Aside from those two, everything else bogs you down in tactics or goes beyond the reality-based contours.

There are some good concepts at the heart of it all. Few ideas are void of truth. The concepts at the heart of red pill are interesting to learn of, but not base your life on.

And definitely don’t talk about them!