This is the ultimate list on where the best places are to get baked in Lima, Peru.

While there is something to be said about getting baked before a tour downtown, getting lost in the crowd and people-watching, these places are inspired by the need to enjoy a nice fuckin day and bond with nature.

1. Pantanos de Villa

The place that inspired this article, see a full write-up on Lima City of Kings. I didn’t have one on the day I visited, but it would’ve been nice. Escape the chaotic city and desert landscapes to this green oasis filled with hundreds of exotic bird species. And burn one care-free in one of the two watchtowers above Laguna Mayor, or by Laguna Marvilla by the beach.

You might have to be a little careful if you try to burn one in a canoe on Laguna Genesis. The administrative office isn’t far, and maintenance employees are also nearby.

2. La Punta del Callao

While a bed of rocks isn’t my idea of a beach vacation, it is for many “chalacos” on any given weekend in the South American summer. For me, visiting La Punta is more about naval culture and getting out on a boat tour while taking in the neighborhood scenery.

If the Cantolao beach is too crowded, burn one on the south side of the peninsula’s Malecon Wiese while watching the birds in the little patch of stagnant seawater. There is usually a serenazgo patrolling here, so Cantolao is the safer bet.

3. Malecon

One of the top two tourist attractions in Lima in my opinion (the other being the historic city center), the Malecon is the best place in Lima to see and be seen on any given day. And it’s also located on the top of a seaside cliff, so smoke and odors fly off into the wind.

Burn one while looking over the sea, down the cliffs and at the other beautiful people walking, jogging, cycling, skating or even paragliding. The Malecon is a little more controlled than the first two options, so you’ll have to exercise some caution before burning one here. I recommend not attempting it anywhere south of the Faro. North of the lighthouse the crowds thin out.

4. Magic Water Circuit

This is the most crowded and controlled spot on the list, earning it a “Very Hard” on the difficulty settings of burning one without being detected. But the colored lights and shooting fountains make it worth it. The key is to have a little one-hitter pipe or, even better, vaporizer.

Take a hit and move on, no lingering. If I manage to drink a couple bottles of red wine every time I take my children here, it’s not impossible. Impossible is nothing!

5. Cerro San Cristobal

I’ve actually never burned one atop Cerro San Cristobal. The mirador isn’t a big place but I didn’t see any police or serenazgo, except of course the time I went with my father-in-law. But I consulted my pal Gerry, who thinks it’s a great tourist destination in its own right because he’s a commoner and a scumbag, and he confirmed that he has in fact burned one a few times up there.

Gerry says:

We burned one with this chap, or at least I did as Acko was busy doing handstands. This chap had a mototaxi we hired at Puente Trujillo to bring us up. He didn’t even want to get paid he was so happy to have two gringos with him, needless to say we gave him a tenner in change.

When I go to Cerro San Cristobal I ponder the Spaniards massacring tens of thousands of Indian warriors led by Quizo Yupanqui in what became the Incas’ last stand against the Spaniards. Pizarro managed to hold the city below, which at the time was just a few blocks around the Plaza de Armas. If he hadn’t won we may not be speaking Spanish. Pizarro named the mountain for Saint Christopher because the battle fell on his feast day. So burn one and eat!

Map

All five spots to burn one on one convenient map. You’re welcome!

Visiting Lima? Check out my Lima Travel Guide in PDF or buy it on Amazon.

Extra Credit: Mistura

Mistrua is not a place, but an event. In fact they’ve been changing the site a lot since they can’t choose one place to stay. But if you’re going to get baked in Lima, and you’re in town for the largest food festival in Latin America, of course you’d want to get baked and eat all that good food. Check out pics of the food I ate at the latest edition in Rimac.

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