This article has been a long time coming. I finally got motivated to write it after hearing my mother-in-law screaming at my wife not to serve my son an apple because it had been in the refrigerator. It was cold.
Peruvians have this irrational fear of cold. Above all, cold beverages. If you drink that cold drink you’re going to get sick, they say.
The apple was an extreme example of my mother-in-law being an extremely overprotective pain in the ass, but it did happen and this irrational fear of cold is a very real quirk in Peru.
Before it was always a minor nuisance to be ignored. But then I had children, and I have to suffer Peruvians’ ideas of how to care for them. I bring the mother-in-law from Arequipa to live with us in Lima for a month at a time to help. And the cold wars never end.
Every time I want to serve the two-year-old a sippy cup of milk, my mother-in-law will make a big fuss about microwaving it first. Even in the summer, which in Lima is a sweltering summer.
Hot milk on a hot, humid day. I feel bad for the kid. Almost pisses me off. Someday I’m going to force her to microwave all her drinks in the summer. See how she likes her chicha morada and beer served hot on a sweltering day.
I wonder what they did when Peruvians didn’t have microwaves. Did they make their crying babies and children wait 20 minutes while they heated the milk up on the stove?
I carried out an intervention last March. I was drinking on the roof with a buddy who has a boy who is my son’s age. They play while we drink. And on this particular night, a sweltering hot night since Lima is a humid heat, I gave the boys water guns.
At some point my mother-in-law confiscated the water guns from the boys and hid them from us for the rest of the night. I didn’t let it ruin the drinking, but I held an intervention the next morning.
I make the rules. You are a guest in my house. You don’t overrule me. You need to understand your new role. You’re a grandmother now. It’s time to assume an assisting role. NOT a managerial or directing role.
That’s how it went. She raised no objections at the time.
However the cold-drink Prohibition has come up again. It’s not worth another intervention. I’m just going to rant on my blog.
But seriously, how do you get past this?
My wife is torn. She grew up in the same family with the same indigenous beliefs, but she also spent over a year in the United States, where any beverage you order in any restaurant will be served with ice. Loads of it. That a country with a population of 300 million in a land which is mostly colder than Lima’s could consume as much cold liquid as it does without an epidemic on the scale of the plague should serve as an example to drop the superstition.
However the matriarchs in her family reinforce it daily. So she’s just torn. Sometimes she insists on heating up the milk. But she’s OK with feeding the boy ice cream and marcianos. In the summer anyway.
My last idea, born out of anger and not logic, was to call all of this cold business “medicina folklorica.” When Peruvians hear “folklorica,” they think of the folk music the Quechua Indians listen to. So there is the implication this is an Indian belief, which it surely is.
Like many in Peru’s middle class, my in-laws hate Indian culture. They like to think of themselves as descendents of the aristocratic Spaniards who transformed Peru from a continental symbol of opulence into a continental shithole over about 400 years. They have one of the oldest last names in Arequipa, and they’re proud of being descended from one of the original robber baron caudillos in the colony’s second province.
Hence, connecting their idea of home healthcare with the Indians might appeal to their sense of racial superiority.
But probably not. I think it will just piss them off. Latinos suffer from a fierce pride, and they’ll stick by their ideas out of spite, just to claim their sovereignty.
We gringos tread a fine line in trying to effect change. If you cite first-world superiority in medicine and science while insisting they do things your way, you may not win the argument. Gringos have been coming down here for centuries telling Latin Americans how to do things, that they’re backwards, etc. But after all these years, they’re still backwards. So in short, it doesn’t work.
And, like with family, you have to be careful with your in-laws. You can’t drop them so easily. They’ll still be your in-laws in 10 or 30 years.
I am still pressed for a solution though, short of bringing the lot of them to the United States for an extended vacation. The cold Prohibition is not only annoying, it carries a health risk. We had to go to the hospital once after we brought my wife’s aunt / godmother in to help.
It was summer and the boy went to sleep in his room. Summer in Lima is 80 degrees Fahrenheit with 90% humidity. I’m not just guessing 90% to imply it’s humid. It’s 90% all year round. Clothes don’t dry if you hang them up indoors. Only in the sun. That’s how humid Lima is. More so than New Orleans.
I would normally open the window to get a little ventilation. However the fickle wife had just rearranged the furniture so the boy’s bed was directly next to the window. Given he is prone to jumping on the bed, albeit not after going to bed, I set the rule that the window stays closed until she decides to move the bed back away from the window.
So I turned on the fan. Then I left the door cracked and went about my evening.
A couple hours later the boy woke, drenched in sweat, and wheezing. We had to rush him off to the hospital.
The aunt had turned off the fan, so he wouldn’t catch a chill, and closed the door. So the 30-pound boy was in his bedroom with zero ventilation on a 80-degree night with steam-room humidity.
On the way to the hospital I told my wife how a baby or two die every summer in the United States, including in St. Louis, when their parents leave them in the car to do their grocery shopping or whatever. That gave her a scare.
But my point was that, in Lima, the heat is a much graver danger than the cold.
There are many parts of Peru where cold is a danger. Children die in the highlands of Puno every winter. But the irrational fear of the cold is everywhere. I met a gringo who lives in Trujillo, in Peru’s hot north where the beaches are open year round, and he said his in-laws have the same superstition.
How do I get them to drop it?
My old gringo superstition
We gringos are not immune from absurd beliefs. Here’s one from our over-sterilized culture.
Growing up in the States, unless maybe on a farm, you would reasonably come to believe that eggs must be kept cold at all times. They are sold from the refrigerator at the store, and they must be put in the home refrigerator immediately upon returning with the groceries. In fact you shouldn’t go catch a movie or go out drinking in between buying eggs and transferring them to your home refrigerator because they may spoil, so says the gringo logic.
So imagine every gringo’s surprise upon arriving in Latin America when they see eggs sold from a dry shelf. Eggs are only sold from a dry shelf. Eggs are never refrigerated.
In fact, the only eggs I have ever seen refrigerated are the ones in my own house. And I only refrigerate them because I often eat them raw. Something about my old gringo superstition maybe, I can leave them out of the refrigerator … only if I am going to cook them. The ones I drink for protein must be stored cold.
But of course I have run out of refrigerated eggs and drank lukewarm egg. Nothing happened. I was fine.
I dropped my fallacious superstition. Peruvians, it’s your turn.
I don’t remember who said it, but it’s very true. Madness in individuals is exceedingly rare, however in groups it is the norm.
Nietzsche no less!
Another thing, gringo men are conditioned to think they are supposed to help raise the children. This is not true. You should be a role model to your boy and a doting father on your daughter, but leave the day-to-day to the wife and abuela. They know how to do it better than we do anyway..
A psychoanalyst would say that through that fear of cold, what, unconsciously, they mean to say is that a baby that has just gone out of the warm womb can’t be directly exposed to the cold reality of life. It’s as if the conflict was between the symbolic relation they have to the cold and and your down-to-earth practical point of view.
Same perplexity here when I first had to buy eggs in Latin America. If I remember well, in 2012, there was a problem with avian flu in Mexico and it was too complicated to bring american eggs there because the Americans were asking for refrigerated trucks.
The reason we put eggs in a fridge (and buy them out of a fridge in the supermarket) in the usa and not most parts of the world, is not due to a superstition, but due to a difference in processing after the eggs pop out of the chicken.
That is, in some countries (like the states), the eggs must be washed right away, rinsing off their protective coating. When this coating is taken off, you need to refrigerate the eggs to better prevent bacterial growth. If you don’t take the coating off, you don’t need to refrigerate the eggs.
I always assumed a colder egg was firmer, leading to less loss in transit etc.
Oh man… my wife is Peruvian and I have had the same experience with the cold issue. She has a story about a friend that drank a cold beer and died and tons of stories about people getting really sick from drinking cold things. It is in combination with the humidity that this combination is thought to be so ‘deadly’. The humidity in Lima is from the winds whipping over the Pacific and hitting the shore and carrying the spray into the city as well as keeping all the pollution there as well (you’ve seen the people flying around on those parachutes in Miraflores i’m sure). It definitely wears you down when you keep finding drinks/juice/milk left out in hot weather and you try to explain the reason for having a refrigerator in the first place… The eggs stay in the fridge. Now there is bread in the fridge too. but it’s progress…
The common cold or nasopharyngitis is caused by the Rhinovirus and they thrive much better in lower temperatures such as the one found in the nasopharynx 91.2F compared to the 98.6F core body temperature. This is because low temperatures (winter months, air currents, cold beverages, cold milk even in summer) lower your nasopharynx innate immune response increasing susceptibility to infection.
Fear the cold my friends 😉
Colin can I shoot you an email? I have the same experience and have some pointers I don’t want published…
Recognizing this thread is a few years old, I’ll add my comment anyway. I just returned from a nine day trip to Peru. They’re obviously in their winter months so the temperatures were more mild and no less wet, certainly in Lima/Miraflores off the coast. Our Machu Picchu day was cold and drenched with both a thick fog and a steady rain. Trying to look at it as a beautiful bucket list sort of thing, rather than a disappointment in timing. We did have a dazzling day on the Uros Islands. Once we were back down out of the highlands into Cusco and Lima again and frequenting Restaurants with Menus, that’s the first time it struck me that nothing but the weather was cold. All drinks are warm (including Pisco Sours) and soups are screaming hot (which didn’t bother me given the weather) but I’m not a fan of warm beer. I noticed bags of milk and cartons of eggs on market shelves up in more rural areas but I didn’t know if that was standard in the cities. A good trip all in all and the earth is beautiful there. But my eleven year old did ask “Mom, next time can we go to a place with first world toilets?” Ugh. So spoiled.
Latinos are pussies. Thats why they cant go out in the rain or the cold. If the weather is slightly bad, they stay at home. If it rains, they stay at home….”Extrano mi tierra caliente Cartagena”….where the scathing humidity is sufficient to kill a small horse.. Even though umbrellas do exist, they are simply weak people. They act as though they are going to melt if hit by a rain pellet. Especially Colombians. All talk, but as soon as the most miniscule pellet of rain shoots down, they duck for cover like its the apocalypse. It just shows the true nature of these fools.