I’ve been traveling between Latin America and the United States for 17 years. But in all of those years, there was only one trip. This was the first year I went back and forth four times in less than six weeks.
In April I spent five days in Guadalajara for a wedding. Then in May I spent three weeks in Peru. I never realized I undergo personality transformations in the two cultures, until I felt a little dizzy at the end of those six weeks, like coming off a roller coaster.
We all know that Latin America is a more social culture. It’s part of what attracts gringos to the region. You talk to people. You talk to the clerks at the corner store. You trade stories with the taxi drivers. You chat with the neighbors.
I take it all a step further. I become the class clown I was in grade school. I crack jokes and try to make people laugh. I get a little handsy with people, maybe a squeeze on the bicep. And I am a winker. I become gregarious, which is my natural personality. Latinos love a fast-talking payaso. Especially a foreign one who can bring shock value.
I try to subdue the gregarious side in Gringolandia. Not everybody wants to talk. They’re cold gringos. Some may talk, but don’t want to laugh. I wonder if Americans have lost their sense of humor.
Some would say that Philadelphia is a different animal. The East Coast is the coldest of regions. In New York, I’ve sensed that it’s polite to avoid eye contact with strangers! Some of my neighbors in Philly won’t say hello despite walking past you for months. But I’m not sure they’re from here. The natives are more likely to talk your ear off. They’re not so cold.
On the whole, our regional differences don’t add up to much compared to Latin America. It’s all cold gringos. You don’t crack jokes with strangers. They get scared. They get uncomfortable. I don’t know what their problem is, but you learn to leave them alone. Or you say hello and they might not say anything back. So you learn to talk to only the people you already know.
Toggling on and off from the cold gringo who leaves people alone to the in-your-face gringo payaso was natural when it wasn’t often. But this time, with equal time in each and four total toggles, I felt the LatAm-Gringo whiplash.
Expat Chronicles 
An anecdote regarding the coldness of the East Coast. I knew a native of Boston who had just moved to Chicago. After a few weeks she said something like, “What is wrong with these Midwesterners? I barely know them and they’re already inviting me to their house.”
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The reputation isn’t completely undeserved. But I’ll stand by my assertion that the East Coast city natives are more likely to talk your ear off than shun you. And I’d point out that in one year in Philly our friend count 4X’ed from the four years in St. Louis (not counting the existing friends we rarely saw).
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Meeting real-life Americans was a surprise to me from what I was fed on the TV – I (we…) used to think was that Americans were these slick people with great one liners and wit – like James Garner in ‘The Rockford Files’ and when you meet the reality it was a bit of a shock – not them all of course but a lot of them are lacking in social skills and on the other hand a lot of them are overtly opinionated. I have more American friends that of any other nationality as an expat but I know a lot of Americans and the ones that are my friends are a small percentage. East Coast and Pacific Northwest are aloof and unfriendly but they would admit this themselves.
I am sure you are more gregarious when you are speaking in Spanish to Latin Americans on your travels – with your Spanish ability, you can change personality to mirror the vibe of the people you are speaking to but being away for so long you have changed as a person and are more higher up on the social skill spectrum than some of your countrymen. These people aren’t ‘bad’ people but they’re not putting themselves out there to make more friends. The same can be said of Brits – they can be overtly friendly (again, depending on the region…) which can turn to sarcasm or aggression pretty quickly – they’re not better.
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Interesting way to think about it, the cold gringo vibe being less developed social skills…
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I find Canadians to be far worse, they’re aloof with this snidey passive aggressiveness, this Canadian ‘nice’ they brag about does not exist, they’re far bigger twats than the Americans – they are ‘polite’ though which is where an extra 100 years of British rule makes a difference.
Saying that, I have good Canadian friends so, Your mileage may vary…
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The gregrariousness of the Latin Americans vary as well. I’m Mexican-American, when I visited Colombia, I found them to be cold and introverted in public compared to Mexicans. However in private they did open up.
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Now despite my dismissing regional differences, I have to ask … were you in Bogota?
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I spent time in both Medellin and Bogota. To preface, I grew up in the Los Angeles, CA but in a Mexican household & neighbohood. When I first got to Medellin I was surprised at how the locals would completely ignore me when I’d say ‘Hi’ to them in public. Then I went to Bogota and it was even worse. I quickly learned to adapt by allowing them to say ‘hi’ first, which often came late and quietly. I became more demur to engage strangers in general, adapting to the local customs. Colombians who travel to Mexico also report that Mexicans are much more engaging in public. Eventually, I realized that most of the world is like the Colombians, and Mexicans are the outliers as far as talking to strangers in public. However, your experience is your own and cannot be invalidated by mine.
I’d have to add that the Colombians from the coast (costeños) that I met were very extroverted and reminded me of Mexicans, including their rough way of speaking, though I met them in Medellin and Bogota and they stood out. Being fluent in Spanish, I understood most Colombians perfectly, but when first arriving in Medellin and experiencing their style of social interaction was one of the few times in my life that I’ve experienced culture shock.
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