The Penis Controversies

These are the penis controversies:

  1. Circumcision
  2. Binky AKA pacifier, dummy, soother

Circumcision

circumcisionWhen the boy was born, the doc asked if I wanted him circumcised. Of course I did. Being circumcised myself, it’s not just wanting an American boy. It’s also because I am aware beyond the shadow of a doubt that women prefer circumcised penises. Why wouldn’t I want that for my boy? In the United States, it’s seen as an indicator of first-world-ness, even if the rest of the first world doesn’t follow the tradition. But if you’re not circumcised, especially in the Heartland, it’s a sign of third-world-ness.

I didn’t even have to consider it. My Peruvian wife didn’t argue either.

But she blamed me when the baby cried like crazy after his first few diaper changes. You see, the freshly cut penis of an infant will stick to the diaper every time you take it off. You put a drop of petroleum jelly on the tip to prevent that. But it still hurts.

So this became the first controversy among my Peruvian wife and her family, who chimed in via Skype. They wanted to know why I would insist on that for the boy. Did I want him to suffer?

I was tongue-tied. How do you answer that? Fortunately Milagros helped out, saying it was “more hygenic.” Probably so, although that never occurred to me.

Binky

binkyThe next controversy came up during our recent visit to Peru. My Peruvian father-in-law asked why we were using a binky. He asked if we had really thought about the implications.

The implications being, if the boy gets accustomed to sucking a binky as a baby, he’ll develop the habit of sucking something. And you know what that might lead to.

At no point were the words verga, pinga, or pene used. But it was obvious to everybody in the room what the second penis controversy was. And it was mentioned in all seriousness. Not a hint of humor.

What do you think?

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20 comments

  1. Circumcised males are far less likely to contract STDs, as the foreskin flesh (from what I’ve read) of uncircumcised males is porous and vulnerable to absorbing the bad shit that whore you just drunkenly raw-dogged has.

    It drastically reduces the risk of catching HIV, so much so that in some African countries they’ve been offering circumcisions to adult males free of charge.

    About sucking a pacifier making you gay is the fucking stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Every baby has a suck reflex, boys and girls, and it they didn’t, we wouldn’t be here as a species.

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  2. As a first world intact man, I’ve seen no evidence that women prefer cut men over intact men, nor that it’s much of a sign of anything about upbringing, education or wealth. Other than the USA, most of the first world doesn’t circumsize their male infants. It’s not medically necessary. The data on HIV are not conclusive and there are far more important ways to protect oneself. If your child is growing up in Peru, he’s the one who will ostracized for being different. I can only say that in my experience my foreskin helps keep a very sensitive part of my body as sensitive as possible and has a function in lubrication which means I don’t need artificial lubricant.

    As to pacifiers I tend to think that making a baby dependent on a pacifier is a bad idea, so I would avoid it if possible. But I cannot begin to imagine that it will have any impact on the child’s sexual orientation or preferences.

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  3. First thing first, if your son is gay, he’s going to be gay whether he’s sucking binky or not. But gay in this over hyper macho gay fearing culture we live in is sadly made out to be black and white. You know how women these days can be bisexual and it’s encouraged? It’s actually rather standard for a typical hot girl to have ate out some pussy along the way. The hotter the girl, the more pussy she probably ate. Along with her standard meat injection she gets to supplement that.

    Well it didn’t exist too long ago that it was exactly opposite of this. I know many find it entirely impossible to imagine such a world. But during the centuries when the Roman empire ruled the land, it was standard for men to have wives and boyfriends. It was actually so standard that they didn’t even have a word for it. It was actually so standard that of the first 14 emperors of Rome, 13 of them had boy lovers (openly) in addition to their wives.

    And similar to how we have made gay male sex today (gross – unless you’re gay), girl on girl lesbian sex was considered absolutely disgusting in ancient Rome. It was heavily frowned upon and looked at with disgust.

    So anyway no one is turning gay for sucking a binky. Your son most surely will be heavily brainwashed and influenced by the 21st century western culture and go around constantly making sure no one thinks he’s gay. We all do this unconscinely (those of us not gay). So if the idea of that does not sit well with you (him being gay), just be happy you have a very repressive culture to back you up and it will surely keep him straight as a line. Unless of course again if he actually IS gay. But I believe that’s decided at the moment of conception. Actually I’m more of the belief that we are all mostly bisexual – but naturally by our gut into one or the other. Although girls these days are really enjoying having sex with each other.

    Take care

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  4. Carl – you’re tripping. I’ve had my fill of plenty of females in my years and every single one of them always verbally made it clear cut is what they like.

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  5. Kash – were all your girls from North America? Carl is spot on, in Europe it’s only the jews and muslims that are circumcised anyway, so most girls are down for whatever is

    And the whole Africa/HIV transmission thing does not necessarily transpose across to the first world where we practice proper hygiene. “Drunken raw dogging” is a far bigger risk factor than having a bit of skin down there.

    What is more, does no one think it is dodgy to perform an unnecessary medical procedure on a child that cannot consent to it? Let the boy choose to have one when he is older if he wishes.

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  6. Coincidentally, my son was born today! My wife and I decided *not* to have him cut. It’s something we’ve researched for a while, and it’s controversial, but in summary: it’s a wack social and religious custom, and the medical literature in favor of doing it is dramatically overstated, probably because people simply want to justify the social/religious custom they already believe in.

    e.g., “The relative risk of HIV infection is 0.42” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision_and_HIV) seems troubling but consider that the overall transmission rate for HIV in the US is only *5 per 10,000 exposures* for PIV sex, according to the CDC. Circumcision is not going to keep your kid from getting HIV, but understanding what constitutes more risky sexual behavior can.

    Regarding social stigma / female preference, my son will have sufficient game such that future ladies in his life will be worshiping his covered wagon.

    Re: the binky thing, that’s just homophobic nonsense 🙂

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  7. I personally have issues with my parents for circumcising me so I didn’t do it to my son.

    He will grow up with an evolutionary normal penis, just like all his classmates here in Nicaragua.

    I was also the first one to suggest getting the kid a passy (as we called it being from Texas…short for pacifier) for two reasons: 1. to keep his dirty fingers out of his mouth and 2. to shut him up. It works miracles.

    And if anyone asks if I worry about him turning gay I will say, “no, I don’t. And if he did, would you have a problem with it?”

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  8. Sorry my brother Colin, but pangs of nationalism, as in your questionable longing for baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet is not a legitimate argument for having your boy circumcised. I find it barbaric with no legitimate justification. I did not clip my son, also born of a Latina mother. If at some point in his adult life he decides to put a bone in his nose, pierce his prick or clip off the end for aesthetic reasons it will be his decision. I did not have the heart to mutilate my boy, and I refuse to bow to gringo idiosyncrasies. In fact, I want my own foreskin back!

    I’ve said it before, you were at your best when wallowing in the smegma of the streets of Medellin and Bogota ! Follow your bliss …

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  9. Actually, the benefits of not being circumcised are greater. STD transmission from a dirty vagina is less likely – circumcised men have no barrier over the exposed glans, which is thinner-skinned and more subsceptible to absorbing infected vaginal secretion.
    There are arguments to leave it alone on the grounds that removal of the foreskin damages sexual sensitivity, but eh.

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  10. “It had no face, no personality. It was like a martian.”
    – Elaine, (on Seinfeld) describing an uncircumsized penis, in “The Bris”

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  11. I agree 100%. I refused to let the OB circumcise my son. It is cruel, mean-hearted and torturous for anyone–much less a newborn, defenseless infant. I chose to protect my son instead of torturing him the day he was born. Two ex-readers now.

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  12. In my experience worldwide the females always like something different and they seem to really desire the circumcised penis. Maybe it is just the white flesh…But then maybe it is the gringo from the USA with the potential money that really makes them “go the extra mile.”
    However, messing with the way Mother Nature designed us does seem a bit contrary to our evolution.
    If I had a son, I’d circumcise as well…he’d be ridiculed in America with that sheathed thing..

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  13. I’ve had women actually tell me they would not sleep with me if I was not circumsized. It is a great thing. You are a man and you know the benefit’s of it. No need to explain. It’s done.

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  14. It’s odd that Americans are horrified at female circumcision, yet don’t think twice about butchering their baby boy’s penis. I can only imagine the excruciating pain that these babies go through; they are not even given anesthesia! Thankfully, this barbaric custom is fading in the West. You are sadly mistaken about ‘uncircumcised’ being a sign of the first world. The places on earth with highest rates of circumcision are Africa and the Middle East. The Muslims are very much circumcised as the Jews, seeking to follow Abraham law. If you are not a Muslim or a Jew, what the point of circumcision? So you can save yourself the one minute a day that it takes to clean? Never mind the significant loss of sensation, and the smoothness of intercourse. There’s a reason why circumcised men use lotion to masturbate: there is no skin to move back and forth. It’s all taut and deadened, scarred and chaffed.

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    1. You are right (not all the first-world cuts). This only came to my attention after publishing. I’ve taken this opportunity to amend. Thank you.

      Also, as you mention in the next comment, the practice is trending down in the States. FACT. On the other hand, however, it’s trending up in Peru … according to the obstetricians I knew (and I knew a few!).

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  15. The argument that circumcision should be used a form of STD prevention is absurd. That’s what condoms are for. Don’t engage in risky behaviors. There’s even a recent study in Africa that showed circumcised men had HIGHER incidence of HIV (maybe ’cause they’ve been told they’re scot-free?). Then there’s the augment that ‘he should look the same as the boys around him’, and somehow would be shamed if he didn’t. Well, we as humans don’t run around nude. Further, in the America, circumcision rates are fast declining (America is the only Western country with high circumcision rates). That some women prefer uncircumcised men . . . well on what grounds? They’re probably not used to it so think it’s weird. Did you guys meet these women in Latin America or in the U.S. Mid West. I hear of couples going through a lot of lube (and pain) ’cause there’s no sheath to act as a buffer, creating dryness. I also hear of men complain that when receiving oral sex with a condom, they can’t feel anything. I always suspected that these men were circumcised (I never asked them), because to me it feels no different.

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  16. I’m very glad my parents circumcised me. I may not have been so happy at the time, but I’m glad they did it then and I didn’t need to consider doing it as an adult.

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