There’s something different about Colombian women. They take an unhealthy pride in their beauty.
Most beautiful women are vain. I almost married a gringa five years ago. This beautiful gringa had a gang of beautiful friends, and their favorite time of the night was picture-taking. They knew how to pose and smile. Then they’d all clamor to look at the pictures immediately afterwards. I knew each one was clamoring to look at herself.
Vanity is the excessive belief in one’s own abilities or attractiveness to others.
Latin women generally take picture-taking to a new level. Colombians are the worst, illustrated in their outsized model industry. The celebrity gossip scene is filled with models. Their beauty pageants make national news. The pageant winners are household names. They hold pageants in the prisons.
In America beauty pageants are something of a joke, and the women morons. In Colombia they’re glorified. Unfortunately, normal Colombian girls aspire to be models.
I have Facebook friends who have albums of themselves. Not just photos, albums. Each album may have 20 to 50 photos, and some have a dozen or so albums. Some create Facebook fan pages for themselves. Their albums feature photos of them sitting or standing in the exact same place. They’re holding their camera out, changing position or smile, and snapping off dozens and dozens of shots of themselves with slight tweaks to their eyes, smiles, etc.
I had my aha moment one night in Medellin with a paisa chick. Flirting, she asked me for my camera, saying she loves photos. She proceeded to take shots of herself. She changed angles, smiles, her eyes. She didn’t change them, she merely tweaked them, for dozens of shots. Dozens. By the time she gave the camera back, she had deleted all except her favorite.
There was another Colombian girl with whom I had a very brief affair. She was proud to be a part of a model agency. She was cute, but certainly no model. I almost wanted to tell her, “Honey, you’re great, but stop this model nonsense. You’ll never be a model.” She worked as a brand girl in Centromayor or whatever, selling laundry detergent.
I think the unhealthy obsession with beauty explains Colombia’s vast prostitution industry. Colombia exports prostitutes throughout the continent, and saturate their own cities. You often hear Colombians complain about sex tourism. I’d counter that something in the culture is driving supply.
UPDATE: Of course this is a cultural generalization and does not apply to all Colombian women. And I’m going to add a positive note. It’s not a virtue, but beauty is inarguably a positive quality. And while there are beautiful women everywhere, Colombia has more than most countries.
Expat Chronicles 
Brilliant
“Everyone becomes ugly”-my mother
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Oh, come on. At least they’re vain about their looks and not their Masters in Social Work and their “career” as associate assistant deputy manager of HR.
That said, “stand up and be a man” is always and everywhere good advice.
I clicked through to the CR link you posted. Top story was about a model cutting in line at a supermarket. Another customer pulled her out and told her off.
That’s so cute on so many levels I can hardly stand it. Me gusta mucho colombia.
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(I’m not the only one that thinks like this) Colombian women are the most stuck up women out there. Wow I’ve heard this from so many. Yes they are very beautiful but bring proud is one tjing. Although they are so conceited and vain. I see many fine beautiful women from all over the world that are so humble and people admire how fine and sexy they are. I’m not saying all but the majority of them are like that
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One of the great things about the uppity hot-ass girls is that if you know how to take them down a few pegs AND put them in their place, they will LOVE YOU and they will stick around. They love the whole circle-jerk of vanity and attention, and I don’t begrudge them that…. but when it comes to attraction, they love a guy who they cannot gain power over, and who WILL put their ass on the curb no matter how fine they are, and even more so, will be willing to rebuke or discipline said hot chick when appropriate, which many ‘whipped’ boys are afraid to do. A well-placed rebuke with a hot chick can have her slippin’ quickly…
I do find them mugging for the camera and looking over countless photos of themselves etc to be somewhat unbecoming. I think a good dose of vanity suits us all well, and is part of the human experience… but when they get too far up their own ass, it’s not so great. I have to think it is a sign of a society that has not emphasized or balanced out with other value factors like intelligence, education, sense of humor, self-control, etc. I’m all for hot chicks, to be sure, but if a girl is hot that’s only going to get her a couple nights, tops. She’s gonna have to have more to her than that, or I will tire of her pretty quick.
I also have to think that is reveals a major streak of insecurity, if they are always making love to their mirrors and phones… like they need validation from their own images. A secure and confident girl can put her hair in a ponytail and go, knowing that being “hot” isn’t all about facial features, and that things like a sweet smile, kind eyes, a good attitude and a cute laugh can get a girl as far as she wants to go, even without makeup or perfect hair…
It is too bad they put so much emphasis just on physical beauty, because when they fail to exercise or develop much of the other good characteristics, they really do themselves a disfavor, and their appeal is limited, no matter how hot they are.
After you do enough of these hot chicks and models, you realize that they are not so great, when their vapid little lives revolve only around their looks. They are often not fun, not smart or clever, or not even having common sense, often times. Bonus: These girls will often leave you after a while, if only because they need their poor little egos stroked by someone new who is more dazzled by their bullshit. These girls are often very flaky (Colombianas ruling the ‘flaky’ category) and its a poor idea to fall in love with them. What’s to love?
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Haha, I have a whole album of myself titled “Vanity Pics”.
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Colin. Would love to hear some personal (from an American point of view) reasoning on the major causes.
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Perhaps you should stop hanging with girls and move on to women. Seems the fairer sex always does this when they are younger and as time goes on they will do it less. Nothing wrong with being a model, I don’t support it as a career choice for life, but if your young, beautiful and someone wants to pay to take fotos of you. Do it. Take the money, have fun, by yourself things, and most importantly get an education. So when said chica tires of modeling or no one wants her anymore for modeling she can fall back on something. There is vanity all over the world. The United States is #1 in that category and you can’t bullshit and say it isn’t. Just watch American TV, read American magazines. It’s no different here. There is just a higher percentage of hot women in Colombia. And saying if a woman is hot and only hot you will tire of her quickly…well yeah. No shit. What if you met a girl and you two had the same favorite band, had all the albums new everything there was to know about said band. But other than that…really had nothing in common. Would you tire of her quickly? Yeah, I think you would.
In the mean time. Keep going out, enjoy life. Meet broads and have fun with ’em. If it doesn’t work out…who the fuck cares? More of them out there, one of them is about to put up with your shit, and you are gonna put up with hers. And then you’ll make many stupid memories together no one will really care about but you two. Enjoy that shit.
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Wll put Matt L, just dont put up with too much of her bullshit without dishing some out, therein lies the problem fellas
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I am only going to say so true on the vanity and I will say it is not only in Colombia but in all latin cultures and yes you give them a curb check every once in a while and they do act right just simply open the door and ask them to leave or pack your shit and go either way it brings them back to reality they have a problem in thinking they have the only golden goose in the world
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These girls simply prefer gringos cause they find them easy to handle. (Gringos ussually don’t complain, get humilliated and say nothing cause they think that if they say something they are gonna lose the girl.)
I’ve had the chance to see a few gringos being humilliated by their latinas a few times and let me tell you that’s freaking pathetic. You guys look like morons.
On the other hand, girls like that are looking for someone with plenty of money, who has a nice car (the better the car, the hotter the girl you get) and who is likely to pay for their lavish lifestyle ( that includes clubbing, trips, boobjobs, etc).
These girls do not care if you are the ugliest mothafucka’ out there they simply care about the size of your wallet.
A girl like that may also make you think that you’re luckiest man on earth to have a girl like her. If you don’t address her on time then she will pee on you like a caniche for the rest of your relationship…
I hate these girls… and simply hate even more the ugly bitches that pretend to be hot and play the same game. I find that simply hillarious.
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What kind of puppet men are out there that are afraid to “lose a chick”….let me slap the ones who are. My biggest weapon is the ability to not fear losing something
Im not the one…”no soy el” is our new mantra fellas
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I believe that Colombianas and latinas in general are easy to deal with once you understand the rules of engagement; exploit the inherent insecurity of these fucked up creatures. Between the Colombiano pussies and the dumb fuck gringoes who put these urchins on pedestals – its not as easy as it used to be, but the same rules still apply. Never, ever validate women. No compliments, with rare exceptions. If she gives you a particularly good blowjob and makes a point of drinking the leche with elan – offer a compliment. Watching boys pretending to be men – cowering beneath these whores and begging for approval – is pathetic. Then again, most men in serious relationships – are pathetic.
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+1 for what Anders said. Colombia as a country has a BIG HUGE MASSIVE inferiority complex… they are never satisfied with themselves OR others… they sometimes border on neurotic about it.
That’s the huge irony, that girl who takes 200 photos of herself and puts them on Face actually thinks she’s UGLY even though she’s hot..
She has still been told by her mother though that she has to play hard to get and string guys along otherwise they will never respect her. And she does a damn good job of it.
I think that all cats are black in the dark and don’t really care that much about a woman’s physical appearance. I don’t care if a comb has touched her hair this week or not. If i want to be friends with her, it’s because we have enough in common, especially enough PHILOSOPHY in common. If I want to fuck her, it’s because I think or KNOW she will be good in bed.
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Great column. The battle of the sexes is timeless.
I appreciate that Colombian women take care of themselves and work hard at looking good.
They also have beautiful personalities. I have found this true in both rich and poor strata.
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Well, what to say … I have 1 album of myself, too haha … Maybe they just do not have any normal reason of life, just to be pretty …
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Actually the best M.O. for any man is to be the one to play hard to get. Never, ever show a girl, no matter how beautiful, that you are affected by her beauty. DO NOT ever compliment a beautiful girl on her looks. She hears it dozens of times per week and when you don’t do it, she wonders why. Its called “Cat String Theory”. Ever notice when you hold up a string, a cat will go crazy trying to get it. Once she gets it, she loses interest and walks away. Same thing with women. Just ignore the obvious and she will chase you no matter how little money you have or how ugly you are.
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I agree Colin. Many Colombianas put themselves on such a pedastal I often think that it might just be insecurity in many cases. The problem is the positive feedback they get from droves of hard dicked losers who stalk and sweat them.
The larger problem I think is Facebook in general, you can look at probably 50% of Gringa chics and see they do the same thing as Colombianas but for far less of a real reason. I am talking overly average sometimes ugly, chics sitting around posting retarded pics of themselves in all their apparent glory. If I didn’t know some of these mediocre sluts I could ignorantly assume from their photos alone, that they really are living the life of luxury and bliss. The hottest clubs, VIP tables, pics with B list actors and sub par DJ’s…basically they are trying to all act like Paris Hilton. At least with Colombianas the pics are lame and vain but focused on their sex appeal. American girls seem to think that guys are going to find them more appealing and sexy by being “seen” at clubs doing shots or kissing some DJ on the cheek.
Again when some random girl posts a really average photo and you see 20+ guys posting the same old “hawt..sexy..awesome…” bullshit you can see why this is happening all over the place and not just in Colombia.
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@ Jimmy – I am not sold on the beauty of Colombiana personalities. I have def met some very sweet Colombianas, but I’ve probably met just as many that were complete fakes and liars.
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Well, I have a story to tell you. I was into clubs, parties and had the worst lifestyle for that matter. I have always wanted a colombian woman. I finally met one. She was beautiful, and jaw dropping. However, she was married to a husband of 16 years or something. She was seperated from him and she really acted like she was single; flaunting her body, dressing very provocatively etc… so i approached her and sure enough, I got her number and we became friends. Later, she and I confessed our feelings for one another after hiding from a husband that worked out of province. Her kids hid me from him too. I began to realize how she liked to use men, and how I was starting to be one of those men. I eventually moved, then came back and she wanted to start with me.. Finally we moved in after we had sex and stuff.. she confessed that she was Christian. I didn’t care at that time…eventually i accepted the Lord and became Christian with her, yet she still carried her dress like im in a bar behaviour while at church!! I didnt want to “judge” so i kept it to myself being a devout follower. I realized her interest in other men still existed especially other “brothers in Christ” with sports cars. Now, her flirting exists today, we had gotten married breifly and now im filing for divorce. She has been deceptive from the begginning, and I have suspicion that she has had lots of sexual experience because of her performance. (and how can you get that in a 3rd world conditions) she claims to only ever had 3 partners, but I beg to differ. so now that is my colombiana experience
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as a Colombian woman, i personalty think that is bias to compare ALL colombian woman are the same based on personal experiences with a few colombian woman. This world is diverse, therefore is IMPOSSIBLE for ALL woman to be the same! There are many colombianas in the world that act different. i do agree, colombian woman are very vain and feminine, they love looking good, and thats why we stand at being one of the most beautiful woman in the world. there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman loving herself, taking care of themselves and knowing it. most colombian woman dress up for any occasion, something i rarely see in the USA. looks is probably one of the most important thing in colombian. there are many reasons why, it goes beyond just looking good and being vain bitches that’s all they want to do is have sex with every guy they see. Actually if you wold be more educated on colombia and its culture and the problems we face in out country you would know that economy plays a bit of a role on this problem. Because of the economy crisis that colombian people are always facing, not all colombians are able to pay for an education and they cant afford to become a professional even though they dream to, like in the USA. in the US there’s many opportunities, there is financial help for those who CHOOSE to go to college. here in this country is a CHOICE to get an education, in colombia is not a choice is a matter of I CAN or CANT AFFORD IT! sometimes all they can offer is their beauty and personality. sad but true. i have seen beautiful colombian woman that are sweet, smart, dedicated to their families etc, but cant go far in life because they don’t have money. and sometimes that’s the reason why they rely and get with men from other countries they don’t love, all they see it as an opportunity to be able to become someone in life. They get married without being in love, and that’s why later on they find other men, and have difficulties in their marriage. If a woman cheats there has to be a reason, is because shes unhappy. That goes to ALL woman not just colombian! Sometimes looks is all colombian woman can offer in colombia specially for the lower income class. but yes, i have knows plentyyy of colombian woman in this country that are vain and lovee looking good, and love representing colombia. but like everything in this world not everything is perfect or pretty! not just colombia! that is the beutiful good ones, the ones with the great heart! if only you would know how hard it is to have an education and how hard life really is in colombia! specially en los barrios!
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This is a great view on the matter.I am european and live in USA. I deeply support the author of this topic. Been myself in Colombia and the whole Latin America. Colombian style is a naughty dick sucking, ass fucking putas that trying to prove that they are extraordinary in Latin America.Hola como estas? And showing off starts right away, have never met not a single girl that will remind me in any way european feminine beauty.I would say Colombian woman is a Russian man with a pussy between his legs.There is only one solution for Colombia – prostitution. All guys in Colombia are macho, fuck any girl as much as they can, females in Colombia are in total illusion of domination over man. Bitches you are only in Colombia acting like that, when you moving to Panama or Aruba or Campo Alegre Curocao – you sucking dicks like a 5 year old girls suck candies.And you fuck for every dollar you see. Your addiction to no quierro hacer nada and que felizidad made a whole Colombia as a brothel. I have no respect to Colombian woman for me they are only a prostitutes, it is poor country with corruption and all that shit. So fuck this globalization, no matter how world is small now, Colombian woman will stay puta forever.Now try to think what made me think that bad about Colombian woman. Especially i hate paisas, estas mierdas la mejor putas en este mundo.
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Wow wow wow from all the posts I just read. I am in shock that this is common place with these girls. Holy smokes and damn. This hits right at home fer sure. Thanks everyone for taking the time to write about their experiences with Colombian woman. I must say that I have been in an on off relationship with one for the past 15 months. I was wondering why this woman is so different in many ways from what I’m use to dating. I’ve dated almost every race out there but this one has been the worse experience. Almost the best sex but isn’t that the case with the craziest woman.
This woman has been unfaithful from the get go and have put up with it for so long cuz of the great sex. I have never met such a domineering woman a one who is so vain. Everytime she walks by a mirror she has to look at herself for at least 30 seconds. If she’s getting ready, she is in that mirror for a few hours. She looks at herself way more than me. She never compliments me and expects to be complimented. Has many albums of herself on FB and feels the need to constantly update her status about nonsense every few hours. She loves to get photoshoots done by pathetic amateur photographers who are all so willing to do the shoot for free so he can have his one and only chance to be around a hot woman. Otherwise they would never have the chance if he didn’t have that stupid camera. She says that us latino woman want a man who will take care of us. She works pt but says she wants a kid so she can be a stay at home mom. Wants a guy to pay her bills so she doesn’t have to work. I’ve got suckered into paying for some of her bills, part of her rent and her boob payment. If I don’t help her with those bills then she says she will find another guy who will.
I own a business and can afford to do it but reluctantly. She loves to do the break up game every week to show she has the upper hand. I never chase her when this happens and she is always the one who comes back contacting me. I have no problem putting her in her place and I think this is why she always comes back. Of course the financial is part of it but I am a very attractive caucasion male with a perfect physique. She has is better than ever with me but takes me for granted. To these woman, it doesn’t matter how attractive you are, it’s in their DNA to be unfaithful. She is always having her ringer off and phone upside down. I call her on her bs but she still does it. I’ve caught her texting many different guys and call her on it and she says they are just a friend. That’s total bs and know it’s some kind of hook up and have just accepted her being a ho.
I will never marry this woman or have a kid with her cuz I already know the nightmare that would come from it. I’m already divorced and have a 17yr old boy I’ve been paying child support on since he was 1. My boys mom has always been very lenient on what I pay her. My Colombian girl said if that was my kid I would be paying way more. She says that I’m hot and give you the best sex so she is worth the money. I beg the differ cuz she doesn’t like to give oral much but begs me to do it to her. She is so demanding on what methods she wants to have an orgasm. It’s almost a chore and not fun with her demands and expectations during sex. She doesn’t like to watch porn which is a blow cuz i love watching that. She doesn’t cook, and hardly cleans her place. I find myself having to clean her place when I come to visit cuz it’s so messy. I feel bad for her nice roomate that has to live in the pig stye. She always says if I pay a certain bill, she will give me great blow job and sex that night. This sounds like prostitution to me and blows me away that it’s so prevelant in Colombia. She says that she has only been with 6 guys, what a laugh that is. She happens to be best in bed than any of my others but with such few partners.
She was a mail order bride from her X husband who is caucasion. They were married for 8 years and this guy was 10 yrs older than her and unattractive with an ugly physique. She is way out of his league but this just confirms the fact they are users and marry for money. She wanted a ticket to get to the U.S. and found a sucker. Once she became Americanized, she left him and has been hussling on another level. I ‘m sick of her and pretty much am almost done with her. Recently she said we should see other people but still be fwb as long as I still help her with some bills. So I figured what the hell, it’s still cheaper than hiring a professional for $250hr. At least my chances of getting an STD are far less with her, lol. Well I just wanted to leave my input to help persuade caucasion men to don’t waste your time with Colombian woman. From what I’ve been reading, this seems to be standard across the board with these woman.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you will just casually date one and not get emotionally involved cuz you will It’s really hard to break the cycle once you’re in. They will manipulate you to think they are the best thing you’ve ever came across. I feel this way cuz I”ve dated such lame woman that have no passion. I”ve been with many woman so I’m speaking from experience. This woman has captivated me the most and got me so sucked into her vortex its ridiculous. Unless you been involved with one of these woman, you won’t understand where I”m coming from. This breed is the worse to get attached to. I am the guy who isn’t afraid to put her in her place whenever. I’m not that guy who chases her either. She likes to get me to chase her but never do. This is one of the reasons she respects me and always comes chasing me back. I do give her the best sex which is another reason she sticks around. I just don’t know how many other men she is having sex with also.
It’s impossible to feel secure with a Colombian woman cuz they give you 100s of reasons to be insecure. I can go on and on about her but I”ll quit here. Hope this helps you guys out there.
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LOL at reading the comments…all the guys complaining here are weak. Sorry guys, but girls in every country will treat you like a bitch if you let her. I mean I will not argue that Colombian women are vain, but as Antoine hinted at….they’re better than ugly women who still think they’re hot. I had no problems with Colombian women but I treat most women like complete dog shit, because that’s what they like.
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With some of the guys who have written here, easily I can clean my ass! What an idiots… really, all the brain they have is located in the middle of their legs… hahahahaha. If u are scare of a beautiful but vain Colombian woman, I can’t imagine what you could say if you stand up in front of a beautiful and intelligent one! pffff…
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The only “excessive belief in one’s own abilities” in evidence here is the author’s.
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Hey there, came across your blog on expat-blog. I felt this when I was in Colombia and was wondering if it was just me. Living in Ecuador, I get hit on just for being a gringa. In fact, I couldn’t go the grocery store in sweatpants without being sexually harassed in the streets. It was nice not being bothered in Colombia because the dressed up Colombian women made me look like a frumpy bush baby. Do you find that a lot of Colombian men are really into that barbie doll look?
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@ McKenzie – without a doubt, Colombia and greater Latin America may be where “Barbie doll” looks are more desired than anywhere else in the world. I even knew a high-end whore whose name was Barbie. Still, a gringa is a hot commodity as well.
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GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY ALREADY…. You’re DISRESPECTFUL AND INSULTING…
You don’t like Colombians… can’t deal with them?? is it THAT HARD FOR YOU to UNDERSTAND people from another country? then GET THE HELL OUT of the country!!!!!
you shouldn’t go to a country to talk shit about it… And that’s all you do…
Colombia is amazing, and it’s women might not be the best but you shouldn’t visit and LIVE in a city and start criticizing every thing you see… if you’re that uncomfortable with the facts, then LEAVE!
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Facts are facts tell Colombians to get out of the U S there’s only 5 million of them here but only 23,000 western Americans in Colombia that rarely stay long for obvious reasons.Tell the president of Colombia to quit begging for money.The U S only gIves Colombia 450 million each year which they never repay the U S taxpayers,figure it out puta.
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@getout
Somebody’s cranky.
“…you shouldn’t visit and LIVE in a city and start criticizing every thing you see…” If “every thing [sic] you see” in Colombia are women, albeit vain ones, sign me up. I thought there was more to it like mountains, churches, and a coffee growing peasant or two but what do I know, I’ve never been.
And “[Colombian] women might not be the best” isn’t exactly heaping praise upon the place. But I understand. I too, in one form or another, have criticized places I have lived. I guess we’ll both have to pack our bags and move to a pineapple under the sea.
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What a fucking ass you are!!!!!
You clearly cannot appreciate good women. Colombian women are not vain, they love themselves, they care about their aspect a lot. They are exotic, loving and kind. They take care of their men.
You idiot, how dare you write such an insulting article!!!!!
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There’s nothing exotic about high maintenance puta Colombiana’s that lives with family for life.
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Collin, you appreciation is correct. Vanity Vanity. When I lived in Africa, I saw with horror that Colombia is the ONLY country where I have been where TV News anchors “must be” HOT showing boobs and etc and gossip news are 15 minutes long.
Colombians might be vain, but you have not seen *yet* English gals. In England, you can see a FAT SUPER FAT WOMAN behaving and dressing like a HOT chick. They go in groups hunting men during the nights in England and in Greece during the summer. Are they labelled as “putas” ? not really.
But you know, Colombians women are cute, naive and pretty decent compared to those horrendous English- gals.
So….Collin get out of that country and experience more *things* abroad. And, then Blog.
PD. Again I am not that Colombian woman, I always with a pony tail not hot 😀 and I do not have facebook!
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I have laughed so hard with this blog I find it so funny yet… I respect your opinions.. I’m Colombian on my mother’s side, considered hot for my light skin and eyes, small waist, big butt, and long black curly hair, mmhmm,36c. I do realize that some Colombian women are very vain, fake and look down on everyone else, especially if when considered competition, mostly I’m shocked at the lack of decent contribute at any level of conversation other than what they want or wished they had; and if they are educated they elevate their knowledge to bragging status. Colombia is a beautiful country, some of the men are hot, but unreliable as partners, I guess not unlike other Latin American Countries, and the potential to earn decent money hehehe, seriously?
It is hard to fall in love with a lie, naivete on your part because the Colombian vanity, cheating, and overly ambitious greed, is notoriouuuus. I guess the truth is there is nothing more beautiful than a humble and tempered heart. So what have you learned here other than many Colombian women are puticas, vain, jealous, demanding, moody etc? not unlike any other two bit interesda worldwide mind you; because in all fairness not all Colombian women are the same. I have met some very kind and decent Colombian people that are humble and beautiful really. AND Puta is not endemic to Colombia, for we have quite a few skanky hos in the States, and Euro trash doesn’t fall to far behind them either. I think that it is more a lack of foresight, high expectations, and disillusionment for being bamboozled into seeing the reality of your predicament. Truly when you get to that point maybe it’s time to come home and stick to the trash you already know, I mean, at least its on your own turf, and not some 3rd world country that idolized your gringoness, because at the end of the day it wasn’t all that at all huh?? For every progressive individual living in the 3rd world there are 100s of 3rd world thinkers to which gringo is still synonymous with billullo, and that is what pays the bills y la papita papi.
Basic necessities 101… going back to basics… if you meet a crack addict and she is just so hot and you are just so into her because shes all that and a bag of trosquitos, what do you think runs through her mind as she notices your attraction to her??? yesssss… CRACK, and all the things that she can do to you to get it…
Your in a poor country, and if you can’t see amibition through a big pair of tetas.. estas jodido mijo, because putas, maybe some, okay… most mainstreamers that hang out in cool clubs and wear revealing clothing made in the good ole US.. However; 2 things Colombians are NOT known for is gullibility and stupidity, and if you look even half gringo, or sport an ever so obvious accent you will fall under a radar so groomed for the day you came across it you won’t know what hit you. I’m just saying… conozco mi gente!
Sooo, come home papi, we miss our gringos! pump some of that cash into our economy will ya? geez!
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Catalina hum? Sounds like the name of cheap salad dressing I’ve never tried obviously.Tell your president to stop begging for money each year from the U S. over 450 million to be exact each year that’s never paid back to U S taxpayers.I wouldn’t fuck you with your dick CATTY.
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What a spot on actually. Look at the comment above mine? She started I am half Colombiana with- small waist and big ass, and finished -pump that cash into our economy, this post is exactly what this article is about.
So here is my short story. I was involved with Colombia some years ago. And experienced heavy loses, material, mental, etc. Everything was very complicated due to difference in culture. Years passed, I moved on with my life and now I am extremely successful. I have everything now. I live in Asia and to me Latin America is condemned region – it is something that has no future. And does not matter how much money I make or will make, my interests never cross with South America region, because that region is useless for huge money.I do not want have any desire to hear that Latin/Spanish language again, that how badly I was impressed by immoral behavior of Latin American men and women. They will do everything for money. So do we, past memories make me especially sensitive towards Latin men for the rest of my life. Latin women belongs to Latin men – for that reason we ignore Latin women and eat their man for breakfast when they getting that high and that far from their beautiful Locombia etc. Who is looking for trouble eventually will get one. I am proud who I am, and to me personally any Latin “human” is nothing to me, because they are nothing.
Good post Colin, you are very attentive but remember: ” Nobody wants to see the only one naked women in this world and her name is – The Truth”. Anyone who is going to criticize your post here is exactly that naked bitch you are talking about.
Wish you all the best Colin.
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Both my parents are Colombian and I’m proud of my culture. I was born in the US born in RI nd lived in LA for. Long time and have lived in Europe. I can tell you…no one will love you like. Colombian girl but no one will drive you as crazy. I personally LA girls and American girls in general are vain and frigid ice queens who are stuck they’re newly found feminist binge to ration their affection. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion but your lens in viewing my culture is very clouded…Colombia is a beautiful wonderful place with a lot of unfortunate complexities but Colombian women are without a doubt some of the most beautiful in the world and while I believe more should be placed on intelligence, essentiallizing an entire country is ignorant and something that I see too often in the US and Europe, supposedly the mot enlightened and educated regions of the world. A Colombian woman raised with traditional Colombain values will love you, baby you, be loyal, work by your side, rock your world in bed but will call you o your shit , kick ass for you and drive you friggn insane from time to time. I’m 100% Colombian and have covered a big sector of the ethnic sex map. I’ve been with few Colombian girls but the last two have been Colombian and even I can’t deny that it just felt right
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You fuching moran
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Reading this blog gives me pause. I am falling in love with a young and beautiful Colombian girl. She likes to look pretty, take care of her body, takes hours to wash and prepare her hair and when we go out – she always looks good. For an Asian dude with a hot beautiful exotic looking girl holding your hands and every one looking at you is an ego booster. We just started dating – I live and work in Asia and she studies in Colombia. We Skype every day and she always take the time to make sure she look nice before we Skype. Is she vain? I would say yes. She professed she love me and will be with me forever.
But after reading this blog … I don’t know. Am I her ticket to a better life? Is she willing to be with me so that she can get a visa to live in a foreign country? If she finds another younger man with more money than me … will she leave me without batting an eye lid? From this blog it seems yes … but in my heart … I am crazy about her. What should I do!
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Just by reading all this….. I just see a bunch of guys that were dying to be with a colombian woman and got fucked!!! I just feel a lot of anger on this comments from man that couldn’t keep a colombian woman at home with them… Hahahahah
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I Am a Colombian woman and I graduated from a university in the States And I supported an American guy for 4 years while he was finishing his associated in Arts. He smoked pot all day and drank beer. I should say that Americans guys are into porn, drugs, alcohol in normal basis and Colombian girls are not used to that. We were raised with a Dad that works and provides and a mom that takes care of the house and kids and we have an strong sense of family. We like to take care of ourselves and we like to cook. Sorry you had such a horrible experience!
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I am Puerto Rican and I was seeing a Colombian man for about 6 months. As most know Puerto Rican women have hips and butts to the max at times. I feel I have a nice bottom is not small but is nice in size.
My Colombian told me that I needed to make it bigger like the Colombian women do. I told him I don’t think so it is big enough and I do not want to look like a cartoon.(Jessica Rabbit).
He told me most of his female friends in Colombians had breast and butt augmentations by the time they were 20. And some had tummy tucks.
By their 15 or 16 birthdays boobs and butts were their presents. Some even prostitute themselves to get plastic surgery.
I was astonished by this. That is a little too extreme for a young person to start plastic surgery so young.
Don’t have enough money to feed the family but will find the money to get plastic surgery. Like WOW WOW!!!
By far I am not against plastic surgery and will get it when I need it but not now.
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Hello, I read this article and all I could see was a person with an serious case of disillusion the reasons for this unknown . I have to say that hating women just because they pursue beauty is wrong. Some women pursue a profession ,some money , some fame and some beauty there is nothing wrong with it. The comment that impressed me the most is the one that says more or less Colombian women want to dominate in the relationship which I find it to be true but only because they want the husband or boyfriend to succeed. They do it to help , to impulse the man and that in my opinion is great. Colombian women are also great lovers(not only the prostitutes),sweet, loyal partners and defenders of any fair cause. They don’t give up , forgot to mention they are pretty , and not all are vein , they are smart , balance career and motherhood to the perfection . They do not fear pregnancy because of cosmetic reasons . In less words we are great! If you do not believe me ask my husband .
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Catalina nailed it!! Haha!
…But Yeah, you’re right. a lot of Colombian woman are like that. But you are probably stereotyping according to the group of people you were hanging out with. No all of us get fake tits at 16. And some of us actually have other skills than to look good. You were looking in the wrong place and I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you! My “gringo” husband of 9 years would have to disagree with you….
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First off Colombian woman are great they do care about there man. This isn’t fake listen I had a woman come to the grand USA. With big dreams of having a business but she was screwed from day one she was a widow but prior to coming I told her upfront this country isn’t as easy as all foreign people assume it’s rough. I got all I want to do is be with you. well 5 years later is a living nightmare she is willing to work but can’t find full time work her hang up is she don’t want to drive she’s afraid 2 and she is over 25! Both of us are her first marriage the man was deceased and I do truly love her but getting to my point is simple when anyone comes here it’s hard and ya got to do what works weather 2 or 3 jobs. Make some money it’s not a story from the love channel now we pass each other never talking. She is insecure with herself and accused me of seeing another woman which I thought I had the one for the rest of my life boy am I freaking. Wrong. We got to a point of our marriage where it’s rough times and work sucks for her to get a decent job. She doesn’t want to take a English writing course to better herself. Anything I say is not ever good enough for. Her and she claims this country is not a democratic union and how much better it is in Colombia and how much she needs a real man . I stood up for her and her child to get there status. And that’s the pay back I get. And when I get home from work everyday the Univision channel is. Always. On. With those cheasy. Mexican soaps . We met married in Florida and moved north but still in the bible. Capital of the world. And God damn how Jesus has changed her life. Energy and ambition in life. To take it all out on. Me I never cheated nor will I ever cheat on. A. A woman. I told her to go back to that wonderful democracy country of Columbia if your not. Happy. She replied that I am too much in love with myself really. If we don’t love ourselves how can we have love in a relationship my little coffee bean turned rotten I suppose. And I gues when we divorce or if she decides to just go back there life will move on. And this woman has been well traveled her whe entire life so far I guess money is everything to some I am a hard working gringo that turns wrenches. For a living the sime things in are not so much free
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I’m Colombian and I feel complete insulted by this comments, yes they are a lot of girls who are prostitutes in Colombia and would do anything for money but not everyone, and all the women that you mention you probably found them in a cantina or bar, just like anywhere you find what you are looking for if you go to those places you only going to find people who wants to play games, but if you go to the plaza, or a park, centro comercial is different just like here in the us not everyone is a slut, and I feel sorry for how ignorant some people can be and how judgmental, educate your self not every women wants to be a model, not every women wants to be a prostitute, and not every women have interest in man with poor way of thinking.
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This is hilarious. Guys come on relax. I am a gringo and I have been living in Colombia for the past year. I have strung along 7 hot girls during this time. I put up with all of their bullshit, their tempers, their insecurities and their egos because when it is all said and done I end up getting supreme pussy at the end of the night. I have had one serious girlfriend during this time and I have been smart enough to get away with my infidelity. I know, I will probably get some very nasty comments from the women in this blog but thats okay. There are many reasons colombianas go for extranjeros. The main reason is that they find most gringos or europeans very attractive. I am in my forties, with a good physique, green eyes, and a good job. So where do you think all of that will get me. I will not really balst all Colombian women because all but one of my women are very sweet and are trully interested in having a long term relationship with me. I am the problem. I am a user and I have used these girls for sex. I know its pathetic but it is what it is. I have hurt some of these girls unimaginably. I have lied repeatedly. I dont fall in love and that is probably why they come back for more. There is one particular girl whom I would consider having a serious relationship with but the problem is if it would be fair for her since I rerally dont think that me living here in Colombia with the women being so hot if I could conceivably be with only one woman. Colombian men are just like me so what I am doing is really just standard fare here. There is no excuse for my actions and I hope that one day I can see these girls as more than a sexual piece.
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Dear ExPats,
Do humanity a favor and stay in your corner of the world, enjoy your pasty and heavily tattooed women, and have at your HIV infected prostitutes. I’m sure Iowa and Liverpool have the kind of gal you can actually respect. Take ur white supremacy and enjoy it in your white countries, where it belongs.
Signed,
Latin American women everywhere
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Columbian women are the worst inside and out. You are not beautiful, you are short fat brown indians who use all of your wet holes to make money. Have you heard of a brain? I love the ones here in the US that say they are strict catholics that love to suck dick and marry meen for money. YOU are all just jealous and want to look like white women. SURGERY WILL NEVER CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU’RE JIPPED AT THE GENE POOL. Sincerely, brains, beauty and heart ❤
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Thank for the article. I couldn’t agree more. I have traveled to Colombia 25-30 times the last five years. I have met and had relationship with many beautiful women. So far, I haven’t met ONE sincere, honest and kind-hearted woman. They all are full of vanity, full of deception and full of self pride. May be is because of their culture, may be because how the Colombia men treated them, who know, may be is the Escobar’s effect.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the beauty of Colombia women. However, I have to agree with Edward on this, they are nothing more than a”sexual piece”.
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I married a Colombian women!
I lost everything I had!
I was a idiot and thought with my dick!
Colombian women are everything you say they are to a tee!
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Im peruvian and colombian are best known as the most famous hookers in latin america, theres a lot of colombian feminine inmigrants working as whores here, around bars or clubs, also theres places(posh ones) they dont allow colombian girls(they already know they are by the accent and the huge implants) cuz they make trouble and know what they do.Non peruvian guy would marry a colombian trash even ever! Cuz they know how they are
I have to say ive been in bogota for an exchange in a private bilingual school, and upper class ones are waaaaaybdifferent than all you say, they rarely go for gringos, they dont have implants and are classy .
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All Peruviana’s look like pigmey’s truth be known.Sawed off at 5 foot even or less for the most part.Marriage match makers are more prevelant in Peru than any Latin American country for this reason.It’s hard to match throw away Peruviana’s.A cross between Chinese and African I’d say,the missing link,to say the least.Peruviana’s heads are good for one thing and one thing only.TO SET MY BEER ON,because inside of their heads is nothingness.If you hear something that sounds like a rattle it’s just a Peruviana walking.
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G
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How classy! A foreginer comes here just to “fuck bitches” and then post bad stuff about them (and their country) online and we colombians are vain? Maybe check your own ego and think a little bit before posting generalized and box minded stuff about people you dont even get to understand. God, some people have such a narrow and blind mindset that they are un-able to see how they are themselves. Nothing is easier and more refreshing than pointing and criticizing others when you see yourself as a loser. Good luck finding a good woman; perhaps you need it. Chao!
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All foreigners know Colombiana’s are opportunists living in a 3rd world country.Hum family is so so important in Colombia? It’s obvious as to why that’s the case.Colombiana’s are coached by their mothers to bring home the bacon to her ie money,just like momma did before.It’s a family tradition.Colombiano’s are the same living with family for life.Football and drinking heavily is Colombian life with both gendres.I’m far too intelligent to allow any Colombiana to try and catch me with her womanly wilds.I sit in my penthouse in Colombia and watch the hamsters go round and round on the wheel far below.Its entertaining to throw 100 usd in quarters from the 23rd floor and watch the maggots scramble for change.
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Yes Colombian girls are quite vain but most of the posts here why much of the rest of the ex pat population of Bogota know that The Ugly American is not just a bar there but also not a bad comment at all on a certain type of arrogant misogynistic Yank assclown
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No one needs you. I guess screwing fat impoverished Colombianas is the best you can do. Lol
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ps quasi-gay? lol. The US may have economic power but sadly not a few Yanks were at the back of the queue when charm and manners were given out – some lovely people there, but overall the rudest most officious and boorish country i have visited
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though having read the comments of Pedro he proves that there are assclowns in Europe too. Push off back to Spain Pedro, if thats how you feel. I am sure Colombia wont miss you. As a country probably now got more going for it that almost bankrupt Spain (and I have quite a few Spanish friends so no disrespect to the population in general)
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gringos and groseros – maybe a fortuitous coincidence both start with ‘gr’
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I have to agree, First off I am Latin American half Costa Rican with long full hair, small waist quite curvy.Born in the US. I am married to an amazing, educated & hot white man. I speak from, experience colombian women are the most vain, conceited & competitive I have ever came across. I had a gf who was colombian she was so competitive & jealous with me she would try to take any gorgeous guys mostly white ] that liked me first and there was many.They ended up ignoring her and still hitting on me. I have heard many people & friends, gf’s say that Colombian think & act like they are the most beautiful and sexiest than any other Latin American country. I have seen many from Mexico, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica that are much prettier than any women from Colombia. I agree they are very vain & arrogant. There is tons of plastic surgery there too.
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These comments are spot on. You will absolutely love this story… Although it’s difficult to paint them all with one brush, I would say the paisa region is notably the worst for its vanity and lack of morality… My experience with some of them was extremely good, but I wasn’t as close with those ones as the others. On the other hand, I dealt with a bunch that was mindbendingly painful… Literally kill with kindness, biggest group of lying cheating women you will ever encounter in your life. Smoking hot physically, with fake everything, and I mean fucking everything… Fake breasts, fake butt, fake stomach, basically a brand new human being after the surgeries are completed… Pretty interesting actually, for the very low price of $5,000 USD and some bj’s, they will give you a fake personality, attitude and life to boot… They are very street-savvy, raised to hustle any and everyone they come across. Not smart about it at all though, it’s actually comical. when my ex, who one could say caused this bitter response would ask for money, I would send her maybe on average $125 a month, for about a month period, and share the begging “corazon, usted no entender, neccesita dinero por _____”, message with my friends who would all laugh.. Then I’d send her the money, because at worst, I would be able to enjoy colombia, have a good looking chick by my side who knows the country, and a woman I could have sex with; legit tradeoff. This money would cover her phone bill that she facetimed me from everyday, and her rides to her business wear she sold knock-off clothes… If they are from a lower strata, the generational poverty mindset accompanied by the displacement in the country and severe competitive dog eat dog mentality there has created a pervasive culture that eats itself alive. Morality is out of the question, Que Dios Bendigo, which they say all the time, is anything but carried out… The men and women are Absolutely not faithful. The minute my ex turned her back, her hot cousin who wasn’t filled with plastic and was a normal woman told me the absolute truth about her, of which I suspected in due time, she’s a prepaga (callgirl, escort for those who don’t know)… Will even go to lengths to fuck their first cousins that are male, if he buys them knockoff reeboks. Lol… Instead of going to school, having dignity, integrity, self-respect, accountability to your community (you know things that create and maintain 1st world countries and differentiate them from 3rd world countries) I have encountered extreme vanity, and a general lack of morality, even though they know right from wrong… Which makes sense. How in the fuck could you live in paradise with an abundance of resources from a perfect harvesting climate and be rich in oil, gas, coal, gold, other precious metals, (fucking emeralds are mined there for crying out loud) and still have such poverty that creates such a mentality of desperation where every person outside of your culture you come across is prey… The lies are compounding, and God forbid you call them out on it, they will rarely admit and if they do, expect an excuse to accompany the lie, no apology, and possibly never talking to them again… Pretty fucking cool and normal right? No… Not at all… Then they’ll scheme a visa through chain migration (the diasporas in Orlando, Miami and NYC are notorious for this) save the money you sent them for a one way plane ticket to one of those three cities or the biggest armpit in America known as New Jersey (also a massive Colombian diaspora Elizabeth NJ, and the surrounding communities), and sell their body on backpge. 1/3 of their earnings will go to their expenses (food, rent, beauty supplies, summers eve, more bootleg clothes to bring back and sell at store or friends store in hometown of Colombia), 1/3rd will go to driver who assists in advertising on backpage, and 1/3 they keep themselves. They turn an average of 5 tricks a day at 150 a pop, about 20 days out of the month. So they make roughly $5,000 a month take home after they pay out the other 2/3rds (tax-free obviously), but bring back roughly $2,000 a month, and then they will leave a month before their tourist visa expires after 5 months, and plan a trip back to the USA. Or if their visa is denied for whatever shady shit they were semi or fully involved with, they’ll just go to Panama or Aruba, and sell sex for money to tourists, gringos, ten to fifteen years older, smelly, out of shape, on viagra.
However, empathatically put yourself in their shoes… Practically all the men are unfaithful in this culture, so dog eat dog is created. Vengeance is at a high when it comes to the damage a nice man will encounter because of shit an ex has done to them. Higher education, if you can afford it and are from a strata where you have a reliable network to get yourself a job that contributes and assists the society, rarely pays it dividends for at least a 10 year period. Which is precisely why they go the plastic surgery/prepaga route, which coincidentally can assist them in gaining an education because now they can pay for it… Trust, all time low, corruption although being fought at the forefront now more than ever, has permeated the culture to the point where they would eat their own dogs food and lie to its face afterwards… It’s actually really sad. Because although they are friendly, welcoming and kind, the truth behind their character can be so deceiving that it will turn you off from their culture completely.
Take it or leave it, America isn’t perfect, I’d take one of these broads unknowingly signing a pre-nup over a mega-arrogant gringa who hates you and wants to suck your wallet dry any day of the week.
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All of this ranting about Colombiana’s supposedly being the most beautiful women on the planet.Wake up men it’s a myth.All foreign men need to understand any women from 3rd world country’s need and want recognition and that covers all of South America.I’ve lived in Colombia 18 years and yes I’m a western gringo with beautiful baby blue eyes,Whoopi so what.South America women crave attention in general.The majority live with family all of their lives just like their loser boyfriends ie husbands live with family,how productive is that? I could care less about these hoe’s especially when the majority wear hand me down clothes from other family members,news flash men.Yes women hit on me alot however unlike other ignorant foreigners I never pay them.
@ getout – Facts are facts tell Colombians to get out of the U S there’s only 5 million of them here but only 23,000 western Americans in Colombia that rarely stay long for obvious reasons.Tell the president of Colombia to quit begging for money.The U S only gIves Colombia 450 million each year which they never repay the U S taxpayers,figure it out puta.
@ cela – There’s nothing exotic about high maintenance puta Colombiana’s that lives with family for life.
@ Catalina – Catalina hum? Sounds like the name of cheap salad dressing I’ve never tried obviously.Tell your president to stop begging for money each year from the U S. over 450 million to be exact each year that’s never paid back to U S taxpayers.I wouldn’t fuck you with your dick CATTY.
@ Peruvian gal – All Peruviana’s look like pigmey’s truth be known.Sawed off at 5 foot even or less for the most part.Marriage match makers are more prevelant in Peru than any Latin American country for this reason.It’s hard to match throw away Peruviana’s.A cross between Chinese and African I’d say,the missing link,to say the least.Peruviana’s heads are good for one thing and one thing only.TO SET MY BEER ON,because inside of their heads is nothingness.If you hear something that sounds like a rattle it’s just a Peruviana walking.
@ Colombian Girl – All foreigners know Colombiana’s are opportunists living in a 3rd world country.Hum family is so so important in Colombia? It’s obvious as to why that’s the case.Colombiana’s are coached by their mothers to bring home the bacon to her ie money,just like momma did before.It’s a family tradition.Colombiano’s are the same living with family for life.Football and drinking heavily is Colombian life with both gendres.I’m far too intelligent to allow any Colombiana to try and catch me with her womanly wilds.I sit in my penthouse in Colombia and watch the hamsters go round and round on the wheel far below.Its entertaining to throw 100 usd in quarters from the 23rd floor and watch the maggots scramble for change.
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“Well” ? Well, you’re most likely the OP using another email. It all comes down to money, which you don’t have and don’t actually live in a penthouse, anywhere.
But it all does come down to money. Talk about money? Uh Panama canal was stolen by the us in a deal, it belonged to Colombia til Nixon decided to make it. The US made a shit ton of cash with the coke, and helped set up the crackhead prison system that’s in play in the US, which is a money machine, and control.
You’re pretty much a person who was uninteresting and became a victim to women. Now all you can do is blog about it.
The racist chick that went on about her deficient DNA, guess what, everyone has blue eyes, some people just create pigment over theirs, little pigment means green. You’re deficient and our inferior DNA will get taken over if we mate with someone darker, making darker people actually genetically superior.
Just admit it though all you guys who posted, you wanted some free easy sex with attractive women, fell in love, and weren’t good enough, now you’re mad. You all fell in love but couldn’t make those women love you back, because you’re pathetic for taking such a route, pathetic from the start and they knew it.
They know you’re trash in your own society and nothing to the women here, so went there and got used.
But on top of it, there’s nowhere else for you to go exploit women’s bodies and economic condition. You wouldn’t last as a colombian and they know that, and don’t respect you for it. You can’t win someone’s heart when your heart can’t even beat in their world.
You hide behind money and think you’re better, but you were just born luckier, and still had to go mess with people less lucky than you because you’re not desirable back home.
THEY KNOW THATS WHY YOU GO.
Come on Mr “well” please respond to this so I can rip you apart proper.
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Oh and for the record I live in New York. Here you need 5000 USD per month just to be considered by a woman, and not an attractive one. Maybe thats why some of you feel the need to go exploit women from other countries. I mean why would you go through all that trouble when there’s women in America too, even Colombians. Well, we know why. Because you can’t, you need an edge, something to give them incentive to mess with you. And once they use you like you use them, you get hurt and hold a grudge. You got no business talking about women who exist in conditions you wouldn’t have the balls to live in.
They know how weak you are, and they would never actually take you seriously in their world.
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Buster, please stop making an ass of yourself with your unfounded criticism. Some of us, me, didn’t go out of our way to Colombia to get laid or meet women or engage in any vices. Quite the opposite, we went to explore the good things about your country and ignored the critics before we visited. However, what we encountered were experiences that perpetuate the negative stereotypes… Listen to your mindset, “here you need at least 5k a month to even be considered by a good looking woman.” Ive been to NYC plenty of times making far less than that and hooked up with dimes on merit. So how do you respond to that? And I’m from the Chi, not shithole smelly ass 3rd world replica NYC… Did it ever occur to you that maybe we hadn’t experienced poverty like such over there and felt so damn sorry for them that lending them money to help them seemed like a good hearted gift? It’s not like I met some chick on-line dude. I met some girl at a Colombian wedding who persistently called me in front of her family every day for damn near a year until I went to visit her… So yeah, I got played a fool and I was naive. Who wouldn’t be? I don’t see dudes from other countries coming here by themselves and making their way in white communities not knowing the language and nailing dimes off the bat. So don’t act like you’re superior when the shoe is on the other foot.. Most of y’all marry the ugliest gringa you can get and tote her around like some fucking trophy. If you’re wondering who the free beers are from whenever you go to the bar with the hog you found out in the cornfield that was getting tag-teamed, it’s us Gringos, thanking your dumbass.
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Hehe all I get from this post and some of the previous comments is that you all match the ‘gringo’ stereotype too well -idiots who think they’re the center of the world while at the same time wouldn’t be able to pinpoint “America” in a map if they were asked to. The reason why you all end up dating these women is because in the end, you’re just as hollow as them and no decent woman would ever date you. Waching some of you refer to the “1st world” and the “3rd world” just makes me crack and reveals how ignorant you are. @Well, instead of sitting down in your penthouse you should just jump off the window. You’re not intelligent… you’re just an unlovable asshole.
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