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This story was contributed by an American studying in China.
I travelled to mainland China to meet Jason, a Chinese-born fraternity brother from America. I stayed with him at his parents’ place in Ganzhou. In my 1000 page China edition of Lonely Planet, this city of 600,000 isn’t even listed in the index. It was a five-hour train ride from Hong Kong.
Jason picked me up at the train station. After catching up, he suggested we go to the red light district of Ganzhou. What? He couldn’t be serious. Jason and his friend wanted to get massages with happy endings and suggested I do the same. I refused. Jason told me that was fine but I would have to wait until they finished. I preferred not to do this either. Jason explained the other services you could get, one of which was to shower with the whore. “The shower sounds alright,” I said.
The “day spa” looked like a plush hotel with decorative carpeting and chandeliers. A woman in a traditional Chinese silk dress greeted us and showed us into one of the rooms. In the hall porters wearing maroon suits with little hats carried silver trays. The room I was escorted to had mirrors on the ceiling, porn on the television, and glass walls around the bathroom which contained a massage table.
Jason and his friend negotiated with a man in a black suit, who spoke into a walkie-talkie to summon “the selection.” A few chicks walked in wearing black and purple lingerie covered by a see-through gown. Jason told me most of the A-team was busy but maybe I’d like the B-team. I picked one.
The fellas left and told me they would get their massages while I was in here. The whore went to work. She stripped herself and me and led me to the massage table in the bathroom. I was hosed down and massaged. Rather than using her hands for the massage, she rubbed her tits all over me and then her ass. She dried me with a towel, then led me to the bed for a more legitimate massage, followed by more of the boobs and ass.
While lying on my stomach, I felt saran-wrap being put on my feet and thought, “What the fuck?” She licked the covered bottoms of my feet. Then a porter brought two cups with hot and cold water. The chick sipped the hot water, then licked and kissed my body. This was followed by the cold, which tickled. The wheels were in motion. I fucked her. I am officially a dirtball.
I spent a few days in Ganzhou. I ate with Jason’s family including uncles, aunts, and cousins. There was a hierarchy. Men sat to eat first while women brought food from the kitchen. The women didn’t sit down until everything was ready. Children weren’t allowed at the table. The men drank liquor; the women did not. Weird things they ate included turtles and lamb ears.
The second night in Ganzhou, Jason and I met some of his friends at a club. The place was crowded but everyone was sitting down. Jason said things don’t pick up until people get drugged up. He told me weed was hard to come by, but “king” was done in clubs. Sure enough, after an hour or so, the dance floor was full of Chinese people dancing as if they were at Woodstock and Jefferson Airplane was playing “White Rabbit.” I followed Jason into a hole-in-the-ground toilet stall and we snorted some of the powder. It was pretty stupid. Lights were more prominent. I had to concentrate to walk in a straight line.
I sat at a table with a Chinese bird. She was an absolute dime whose English name was Abby. She was studying international trade. We hit it off and exchanged numbers before Jason’s friends told me it was time to go. Jason asked me how it went. Well, I explained, we exchanged numbers and I’ll call her tomorrow. Jason said things work differently in China and I need to act that night – ask her to come eat with us, then take her to a hotel.
Jason sorted it out in Chinese over the phone. She met us at this barbecue place with two of her friends, a man and woman. Everything was going fine until the couple started to argue. They both stood up yelling. Then the man landed three open-handed right crosses on the woman’s face, the first one snapping her head a good 6 inches. He slapped the shit out of her. The chick grabbed her face, spit in his direction, then threw two bowls from the table which missed and shattered on the wall.
I looked around at others for clues on how to react. Everyone just looked but said nothing. Trying to revive our conversation, Jason said to me, “Tell Abby about the fraternity.” All I could say was, “He slapped the shit out of her!” The man yelled at the woman to get in a cab and Abby followed.
The third night we went out to karaoke. Karaoke in China involves renting out your own private room to get drunk and acting like assholes. After ten minutes the manager walked into our room with eight women. “Pick one,” Jason told me. “No, not that shit again,” I replied. He explained these girls are on the menu but not whores. You order women as drinking partners, or company. They play drinking games with you and sing songs. Jason ordered two. Those chicks kicked the shit out of me in the Chinese-dice drinking game we played.
Jason and I went to Shanghai and Nanjing for a few days. In Shanghai we went to a bar where two chicks swarmed me right when I entered. The amount of attention they gave was completely unnatural. “Let’s be honest,” I told them. “You have an ulterior motive.” They admitted that they work for the bar and it’s their job to drum up business by getting men to buy drinks for them. “Now will you buy us drinks?” one asked. I agreed. She asked for a Malibu. “Too bad. You’re getting Jameson.”
I decided I was going to drink these little Asian chicks under the table. I alternated between shots of Jameson and Southern Comfort. Eventually they stopped asking for drinks. I hit it off with one of them. I convinced her to come back to my hotel which led to a drunken session of beating it up. I think she stole my blue stocking cap with red snowball afterward. I woke up naked, hung over, hatless, and read a text from Jason saying “you are heinous.” Jason had one of the call-in hookers advertised on the map handed out to tourists at the information center.
The second day in Shanghai I had food poisoning. Jason borrowed 200 RMB for more whores.
On the last night in Nanjing, Jason and I got pretty drunk. I was talking up one chick for most of the night and decided to swing for the fences: “Help me find my way back to the hotel.” To which she replied, “I don’t think so. You are going back by yourself.”
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